(chris’s) blog

I’m sitting still, empty through unrealized words of my body. In this stillness the ambiance of my surroundings is sensed undetermined. I find peace and gratitude is not forceful, appreciated.

I don’t know why I still read this loser’s shit.

We don’t really talk to each other so much as at each other. I can’t wait to grow aggressive and say more and more significant shit in the hopes it’ll penetrate his ego. But it won’t. Modern society’s abomination is violence, but here sir, I’ve found a valid case where a fist would speak volumes.

I’ve made progress! I haven’t started listening but I’ve stopped talking. When I hear something that upsets me, I hold my lips together. Some people catch on.

I’ve taken the position of leadership! I’ll keep my people wandering in the desert while I worry about my hair. The inner mind projects the outer image - do I look upset? Do I write upset? Some people simply lack meaning. A lack of connection no longer saddens me, it angers me.

I need to go home soon. God, I need to go home soon.

I’m at the Sacramento airport right now, waiting … which seems to be what everybody else is doing as well. Uncomfortably, people sit alone, while surrounded by other people who are also alone. I don’t know the history of our culture, but I’m curious as to when it became rude to prod a perfectly good stranger into conversation. Although here I am with a laptop in my eyes, an iPod in my ears, sitting saturated in my own controlled senses.

Still, the airport is a decent place to people watch. Even if you aren’t engaged with one another, you can still watch and wonder, not receiving conversation but still enlightened by presence alone.

Is that poetic? “Presence alone”?

I smile! Across are two strangers smiling in each other’s faces. One can feel a metaphysical connection emanating from them, inspiring the rest of us, if only minutely, to appreciate another. Or perhaps that is my own desire to connect, coming out from my eyes. Ironic then, that I should “talk” in blog than face to face.

When I look up they are gone, and that is the end.